Night They Returned, The
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Pacing, pacing, pacing. That is the word of this review kids. Let's all say it together now; P-A-C-I-N-G. Very good. I bring this up, because this is the biggest flaw of The Night They Returned. There were just too many dead spots, but I'll get into that more in a moment. The Night They Returned is SV Bell's first feature length film. Like Cold Blonded Murders and Irish Whisky this is a very low budgeted movie...only longer.

The story is a mix of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Carrie and Steel Magnolias. Okay, so maybe no so much of the Magnolias. Here's the story: Three sisters live in a house by themselves. While some woman would be little scared all alone in the woods, these sisters do not have any problem with it. They live with their dad, who is a rotting corpse, and can take care of themselves. Two of the sister's (Melantha Blackthorne and Suzi Lorraine) like to grab men, and kill them. Like Ted Nugent they do not just kill the men, they eat them. What parts they do not eat they just toss into the lake, which happens to be radioactive. The third sister, Liz Faure, is telekinetic. Yes, I said it she has the power of telekinesis. She gets handcuffed and drugged while all the sisterly "bonding" goes on with the men, because she cannot control her powers. Murders continue, and the lake fills with body parts. After a while though the parts want revenge, and with the help of the toxic waste this come to fruition. Hell of a story huh? There is a lot going on. The question is does all this work together? No. No it does not.

A lot is going on in the movie, but also not enough. This is where the pacing comes into play. Some parts of the movie feel more like a rock video. After 20 minutes of the same scenes of the two sisters munching on guts, I got bored. It's one thing to have a great soundtrack, but it's another to use recycled scenes just to be able to use the whole song. If you take away all the same gut eating scenes than this probably would not reach its feature length time frame.

Another problem was with the story. While the murderous sisters are great, the telekinesis aspect is worthless until the last 5 minutes of the film. I really could have gone without the third sister. Sorry Liz. The ending also just ended badly.

I know this is a lot of negativity to read, but let's get one thing straight. The FX are great. To read how much this movie cost to make amazed me. You would not ever think that little. This is a definite gift that all SVBI films have. They never make their budget a crutch. They make it a challenge, that they seem to always overcome. While the story is lacking the final battle made up for every single thing that I said bad about this film. It has got to be seen to be believed.

I liked this movie. Yes it had its flaws, but there is so much hope to be seen here. This is Bell's first feature length film. You learn from your mistakes. I honestly cannot wait to see what Bell has in store next. These films are fun. He has no budget, and it works for him. All this low budget fun has taken its toll on me. I now live on Ramen Noodles, Boones Farm, and toothless 2 dollar hookers. DAMN YOU SV BELL!!!

Rufus in a box:
Biggest reason to watch: Battle of the dead guys
Worst aspect of the movie: Eating guts cannot be that tasty to warrant 20 minutes of non-stop footage.
Better than: Zombie Oasis
But not as good as: The Dead Hate the Living
2 1/2 cans (out of 5)

Added:  Saturday, April 09, 2005

Related Link:  Grab a copy for yourself here!
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