House of the Dead 2
 Rufus and Scraps  rates it:    Community rates it: (no ratings yet)
   160 of 339 readers found this review helpful.

Scraps: Alright, so at the request of another movie fan, Rufus and I are giving the new Lion’s Gate release “House of the Dead II” our Tag Team treatment. This should be interesting because Rufus saw the first movie, and I did not, so we approach this from two different points of view. Rufus can compare it to the original and point out some of the similarities and differences and how the continuation of the story unfolds, and I’ll tell you how much I loathed this film.

Maybe “loathe” is a harsh word. It had all the ingredients of a good zombie film. Gore, gratuitous nudity, gunplay, fire, the eating of entrails…but it was like changing your favorite recipe to serve 400 instead of 4. Sure, all the ingredients are there, it just lacks any flavor.

While I’m on the food kick, I’d like to add a few more ingredients to the mix: ham-fisted, cheesy, and corny.

Rufus: Are my ears deceiving me? So it has taken House of the Dead 2 to break our agreement on movies. I am on the complete other side of the spectrum here. “Loathe”, how bout “Loved”. Like your decision for “Loathe”, “Love” may be too strong a word. I will say that I had one hell of a time watching this though.
As one who has watched the first House of the Dead, and lived to tell about it, let me first comment on that one. House of the Dead is a horrendously, steaming pile, that was bad. The first movie wasn’t even bad in a fun way, but just bad. Thank god there is no continuation between these two. I found House of the Dead 2 to be a tongue-in-cheek good time. Sure it is not a masterpiece, but a sit back, knock a few back (is it me, or do I tend to do this on all movies?) good time. How’s about given us the synopsis Scraps.

Scraps: I knew you’d make me relive this. Damn you!

The always funny Sid Haig is Professor Curien – some dude at a generic University hell bent on using a zombie, apparently from the first movie, to create a formula for immortality. Never a great plan, but hey, whatever gets the grant money, right? So he loads his serum in a nubile sorority chick that he kills, and she turns into a zombie. Normally a minor setback, but she bites him, he bites some jackass cook with a horrible French accent, who bites another guy at a restaurant, and now we’ve got a full blown epidemic. Lucky for us, our heroine Alex (AKA “Nightingale”, played by a marginally hot Emmanuelle Vaugier) is dining at said restaurant. She hooks up with her science posse, consisting of Ellis (Ed “5:00 Shadow” Quinn) and a rag-tag team of Special Forces guys and gals to infiltrate the zombie infested campus, snag some blood from zombie #1 in order to make a serum to counteract the virus, and get out before the whole place gets blown to smithereens by the military. With limited time, limited bullets, stereotypical characters and a script that screams plagiarism, they’re going back to school to save the planet!

Maybe beer would have helped me appreciate this more…or having seen the first movie. But, if a shitburger tastes bad, is a shitburger with cheese any better?

Rufus: The first movie had no bearing on the second. In fact, I would rather never think of the first one again. Why is the doctor trying to create a serum of ever lasting life from a zombie? How did he acquire a zombie in the first place? Who cares! The intro works well to establish an outbreak. Hell, we also get some pointless nudity, which I am always a fan of.
A team is brought in to contain the campus, and also find a level 1 zombie for a possible antidote to the “disease”. Badda-bing. There is the story. Soldiers come in, with some scientists, to get what is needed, and to get the hell out in time. While the movie will not win any awards for story telling, I would not want it any other way. I prefer my fun, cheesy movies to not be too deep. If you have to think too much on these types of movies, then you lose the fun.
The characters in this movie work perfectly. They are deep enough to have some care to their life or death situation, but not enough to be bummed out if they die horrifically. On a side note I must say that Emmanuelle Vaugier is a little more than only marginally hot. I would just say hot. Ed Quinn does his job well, along with other faces that you may recognize. We have Victoria Platt (Mutant X, and Cleopatra 2525), the spicy Nadine Velazquez (My Name is Earl), Sticky Fingaz (son of Solo Stroker) and James Parks as the dick head. They all work well in this movie, and can I say that this resembled more of the game for me than the first? Yes, I will say that.
The game consisted of a fun shoot-em-up concept that I felt in this movie. Seeing the zombified librarian come out, after they shoot a student in the library, for being too loud was priceless.

Scraps: I will admit, it had its funny moments. When Ellis yelled “reload!” in a dark hallway, I was taken back momentarily to the arcade, when I was shooting zombies along with the rest of the crew. But, it just wasn’t enough for me. Tongue-in-cheek is a great way to go for an over-the-top zombie flick, but it’s been done, and it’s been done much better. There was just so much that took away from the experience for me. Cliché is great, but if you overdo it, the fun of the cliché gets buried in that “been there, done that” feeling. It’s fun to have a ham-fisted character or two, but ALL of them? Except for the stereotypical sexist pig and the overweight noob (an overweight Special Forces? C’mon!), they all seemed to spend a semester at the “Captain Kirk School of Overdramatization”. This was so formulized that no originality eeked through. The second you spotted the axe on the wall of the arcade, you knew someone was going to be swinging it. I just couldn’t suspend reality long enough to enjoy the movie. This truly IS a beer flick. Besides the fat elite military zombie fodder, there were a couple other things bugging me:

- If it was so important to get this zombie blood, why did they only take one vial each time? A GLASS vial no less?
- So, after the fragile glass vial is filled, they store it in a pouch VELCROED to the ass of Ellis? You’re just asking for it to be lost!
- During one of the scenes, Ellis smears himself with zombie blood to walk in a circle to open a vent the girls can climb through. I’m no strategist by trade, but shouldn’t all three of them done this and avoid the vent altogether?
- If you’re driving a big bread-truck for the government, pulling up to a big building full of zombies to extract your squad mates, right before you put on your seatbelt and start the engine, wouldn’t you close the damned back door?
- Alex is stuck under a table with a knife, completely surrounded by zombies, a good 20 feet from an exit. While under the table the building gets bombed, yet she gets out? I expected Short Round to be waiting by the truck yelling “hurry Doctah Jones…the plane leave soon!”
- James Parks’ character chews his own hand off (or cuts it off or something) yet amazingly his uniform is completely devoid of blood. Amazing! Freekin’ Oxy-Clean to the rescue!

I’ll give you a couple of positive points though. The makeup/special effects were good, and the sound/music fit well into the scenes. Some of the scenes were reminiscent of the games, without being too hokey. It’s just that the script and action seemed to be put together by a room full of horny 12 year old boys with ADD. The gore didn’t make me sick, but some of the lines made me retaste my dinner a couple of times.

Rufus: Room full of horny 12 year olds?!? You mean a room full of horny 26 year olds, because this movie was made for me. Listen to you, you old crotch. Take some more Ensure, and go watch “Driving Miss Daisy”. All joking aside, you did bring up many plot holes that were very apparent. Who knew that a campus supplied table could withstand a complete building leveling explosion. Also, notice the moment with the mosquito. So is there only one mosquito on the whole campus, and it so happens to be locked in some frat kid’s room? Again, I agree with the holes, however, this movie is like a Pizza Roll. I tastes damn good, but it is not a meal by any means. This movie had the ingredients for a fun B movie, but nothing more. You summed it up with the movie having “gore, gratuitous nudity, gunplay, fire, the eating of entrails…”, and with that in mind, who needs anything else? With the knowledge that this movie is flash, but no substance, and fun, with no thinking, then I can easily see how someone would have a blast watching this.

Scraps: I think we summed up the movie right there. Fun for a fan of the B-Movie zombie genre, not so good for the casual viewer. Personally, I’d rather sit down to a nice chilled Scotch & Maalox and watch “Resident Evil” again than sit through this a second time. Since it was just bad and not painful to watch, horror buffs would probably like it. It’s a 2 canner in my book.

Rufus: I will give this movie 3 cans. It had many horror, and game references that brought a smile to my face. The makeup effects were impressive, the pacing was fast, and I enjoyed the movie on a brainless, wink-wink into the camera way. If you are a fan of B movies that are only there to entertain, then shut your brain off, sit back and have a good time.

Added:  Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Language: eng[ Did you find this review helpful?  Yes  No ]
[ Back to reviews index ]

Want to comment on this review?
Register here for a free user account, and you'll be able to.