Cemetery Man (Dellamorte Dellamore)
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Cemetery Man (Dellamorte Dellamore) is one of the most visually stunning and poetic brain f*cks that I have ever seen. Normally I hate art house films. Yes folks, I am calling this an art house film. I always hated those weird films that just want to be weird. They always seem to have a clown hanging himself, and some laughing Jesus or something. Screw that. This is a subtle arthouse film. Weird…yes. Confusing….yes. Enjoyable…ABSOLUTELY. From start to finish this movie twists and turns between dream-like sequences which never explain themselves, so you have to just sit back and enjoy it. And enjoy it you will. What is real and what is fake? Who knows, and who cares. Thank you Anchor Bay for, again, bringing a great classic to the masses.

Francesco Dellamorte is a caretaker of the cemetery in Buffalora, Italy. Lately within 7 days the recent dead start to rise back up one last time. Dellamorte doesn’t really know why, but with his childlike sidekick Gnaghi they comb the cemetery at night to make sure that they stay down. What’s great about the lack of explanation is the nonchalant view that Dellamorte takes on the subject. It’s just a matter of fact, no one would believe him if he told them and chances are he would be out of a job if the town found out. It’s more of an annoyance for him more than anything.

After the death of an old man, a beautiful widow, “She” comes into his life. Things all change from there. Sure she’s hot, but this girl is a freak. While having sex on her recently deceased old man of a husband’s grave, the old man comes back and bites her. While that sentence and the synopsis sounds weird, you have not seen anything yet. This movie is odd as hell. I can’t really go on, because it gets so weird I don’t even know where to go from here, plus I would hate to ruin any surprises.

I can honestly say that this movie is not for everyone, yet oddly it should be. We get hilarious humor, over the top gore and great makeup effects, a love story, wonderful cinematography, gothic awe dropping sets, and a movie that will have you sitting there trying to figure out the meaning of it. Oh, you also get a bunch of undead boy scouts. Brilliant!

Watching this movie felt like watching Stanley Kubrick trying to emulate Peter Jackson. I mean that wholeheartedly as a compliment to director Michele Soavi, without taking away the credit from him. This is his vision, and watching this movie was like looking at a painting in a museum. A confusing as hell painting that I could not tell which way was up, but a beautiful painting nonetheless. Another shining gem in this movie was Rupert Everett’s Dellamorte. Yes women, this is the man from MY BEST FRIEND’S WEDDING. I point that out, because that was the first thing that my fiancé said when walking past the TV. 2 seconds in she realized that while it is the same actor, this is no Julia Roberts vehicle.

Real quick let me go down some of the gore that you get treated to. Remember folks, while visually and poetically beautiful this is still a horror movie. We get flesh biting, a head ran over by a truck in a wonderfully colorful fashion, a flying head neck chew, and again zombie boy scouts getting shot in the head. This is only a sample of what is in store for you. Wonderful!!! These are also all old school effects folks, so don’t worry about any awful CGI.

I do have a complaint for Anchor Bay though. The cover is awful. Remember Bums the news article we had a while back about this release? Well, we used a pic for that article that I was hoping would be the cover. Sadly this cover looks more like your run of the mill release. Something like I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER 5.

I enjoyed this movie immensely, and when it is over you will need to think about what you saw and what it meant. This is a thinking man’s horror movie that had enough gore in it to bring a smile to my face, even though my brain hurt a bit. For those thinkers out there you should check this out. To those non thinkers this one may hurt your head, so just enjoy the gore and black humor, Again while this movie might not be for the summer movie going fare, and it was almost too odd for it’s own good, I still can give this a solid 4 cans….even if my brain still hurts a bit.

Added:  Tuesday, May 23, 2006

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