Night of the Sorcerers
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I think I’m going to take a trip to the jungles of some foreign country. Pitching a tent by a river bank, lighting a fire and hanging out with some friends sounds great. I have to admit though, until I watched Night of the Sorcerers the jungle desire never popped into my head. What I learned from watching this gem of a horrible movie is that if you bring women to the jungle with you, they will get naked. Is it the fresh air or something in the water? Who know? All I know is if you get them there, a woman will lose all inhibition. Hell, they’ll even sleep with you right in the open and rolling around in the river. Do you know what’s in that river? I’ve seen National Geographic and many people bathe and deficate in those waters. I’ve never been that hard up to get a piece, but then again I wasn’t starring in this movie.

Night of the Sorcerers is such a bad movie that it has to make you laugh. You can’t help yourself. Let’s get to the story. Now, try to follow fellow Bums, because a lot will not make sense.

We start with a flashback of a tribe having just captured a woman. After they whip her cloths off (jungle foreplay) they dance around and lie her down on an alter. After they cut her head off they dance in the blood. You know; your normal Friday night antics in the jungle. Looking for the woman and seeing her head getting cut off are some soldiers. After seeing the craziness, they open fire on the tribe killing all.

Jump forward in time and we have a group of people on an expedition for some reason. Three hotties and a couple of guys decide to set up camp. They are warned about the jungles and the movie moves on. On the first night of camp, one of the guys says that he’ll keep watch, but then proceeds to have sex with one of the women in the river bank. While he’s having his fun, another one of the women proceed to walk into the woods alone. No flashlight, weapon or anything but a camera. Hell, I don’t even walk in some local, state park woods at night without at least a flashlight and a stick. Needless to say the woman stumbles on the old tribe ground. The dead rise and proceed to whip her clothes off and cut her head off. The dead weren’t alone though.

Remember the first lady that I mentioned that went through the same kinky little death? Well, she is now (I’m guessing from the title) a sorcerer. This consists of wearing a leopard skin bra, tiny leopard panties and some sort of cape and has vampire teeth. Oh, and a ribbon around her neck. (The ribbon makes some sense later in the movie. Actually, now that I think about it, still makes very little sense.) The “leopard women” become these prancing models at night and are regular leopards during the day. We know that they are actual leopards in day, because there is one scene with stuffed leopard heads peaking out of the jungle eavesdropping while some individuals talk.

Now the blonde is also a leopard lady. She became one by getting whipped to death and having her head cut off. The magic of the jungle I guess.

When daylight hits and everyone realizes that the blond is gone, they decide they need to look for her. They find her camera in the jungle, but are stumped as to why her dumbass would go into the jungles alone in the middle of night. Taking the camera back, the John Holmes looking man decides to see what is on her camera. While he goes to work, the same guy that was “on watch” when they lost the blond the night before says that he’ll keep watch again. With his power over his wang weak, he ends up sleeping with the same woman again. Another woman disappears and ole’ Holmes gets killed by a leopard woman. I just have to point out how worthless of a guard the guy is, because DAMN! When daylight hits the “guard” decides to check in on how the pictures are coming along. What he finds is a man dead from drowning in an inch of water and the second of the three women is missing. (Looks like we have ourselves another leopard lady) I wondered if he felt guilty at anytime for not keeping watch but, from his actions, I guess not.

He takes off to find out what the hell is going on and leaves his “guard distraction” at camp. She heads into the tent where the body is and looks at a couple of pics. The man zombifies and rises up. The magic of the jungle is so strong that I guess if you die by drowning from a leopard lady then you become the undead. No leopard bra and panties for him though, thank god.

The movie builds to a climax (I use the words “build” and “climax” very loosely.) and ends with an obvious ending. Good lord folks.

The movie has to be seen to be believed. The night shots are truly daytime with a blue lens on the camera, there is repeated stock footage used, the leopard women (or sorcerers) are laughably ridiculous, the acting is atrocious and damn is that one guy worthless. Anchor Bay did a great job on this movie (why, I will never know) and even added clothed scenes. If you are not a fan of ridiculous boob scares and nudity at every turn it seems, then you can watch these scenes heavily edited to not show you the goods. Why you would want to lose the only redeeming quality of this movie is beyond me.

Grab a beer (or many) and have a blast with this. I assure you that you will be laughing at the movie (not with) and enjoying some jubblies, whips, zombies and horrible acting. Night of the Sorcerers is not a lost exploitation CLASSIC, but a horribly done and enjoyable guilty pleasure from the 70s worthy of 3 cans.

Added:  Thursday, September 20, 2007
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