Christmas Too Many, A
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I’ve had quite the time trying to review this movie. It was initially handed to me about a month before Christmas. One look at the cheesy cover and I decided to put it off until later. I saw a picture of Mickey Rooney, side by side with Gary Coleman and a Christmas tree, and decided it was too much. Finally, with about two weeks left to go before Christmas, I decided I had better review it in time for the holidays.

Well I got twenty minutes into this piece of trash, and I couldn’t stomach it. I had no choice. I had to turn it off and immediately pop in a guys movie, so I could try to forget the stench I had witnessed. I knew darn well that I still had to watch this, but I just couldn’t.

Well fast forward until Christmas Eve, and we find my entire family at my house ready to celebrate with holiday cheer. I thought to myself this would be the absolute perfect time to get everyone to watch it. After all it is a Christmas movie, and it’s always easier watching film with others. So I popped it in and sure enough everyone lost interest within fifteen minutes.

So here I sit, a month later, and I finally bite the bullet and watched this in it’s entirety. It was difficult and I felt like I was in Dante’s third stage of Hell, but I made it through nonetheless. Honestly, if you can’t tell by the tone of this review that I am going to slaughter it, then just stop reading now and go watch Mash.

This movie had a lot of notoriously big names in it, but I wouldn’t exactly call it an all-star cast. You may have heard of everyone in this movie, but that’s not saying much. The main star is Mickey Rooney. After as long a career as he’s had, I am shocked he took this role. He was mildly funny at best, but he used a lot of adult language and themes, deviating from the family comedy that’s made him who he is.

Marla Maples also plays a meaty role, but lets face it. Her biggest claim to fame was screwing Donald Trump. They rounded out the cast with such familiar faces as Andrew Keegan and Gary Coleman. Don’t get me started on Gary. He plays a pizza delivery boy, and that in itself is heresy. I mean, who is ever going to trust Coleman with their pizza money? Wasn’t he a crack addict at some point?

Anyway, the plot of the movie is taken from a zillion other Christmas movies and that’s probably why it was so hard to get through. What we have here is a collection of family members and friends who are all highly dysfunctional, and try to come together for the holidays. It’s filled with all the same cheesiness and clichés that you’ve come to expect. Nothing groundbreaking really happens here.

In a nutshell, this movie had poor acting, poor writing, and poor directing. It was just all out poor. I figure the only reason Lionsgate released this is because they lost a bet or something. This movie has no value as a film, and these actors should all be ashamed of themselves. This movie is just about impossible to sit through. With the exception of Rooney, these roles were all dialed in. The actors didn’t make me believe that they actually wanted to be on set. Be very wary of this one my friends. Once again, I dove on the grenade so you don’t have to. You're welcome.

Added:  Thursday, February 14, 2008

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