Whole Ten Yards, The
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The Whole Ten Yards is a movie that I have been waiting for since a yard ago. The Whole Nine Yards was just one yard shy of perfection. It left so many questions unanswered.

Obviously this movie did not need to be made. The first one was not a huge hit by any means, and it was panned by critics. (Of course so has this one, so let’s make a trilogy!) I have to admit though; I laughed my ass off!

The sequel continues the story of Os (Perry), Cynthia (Henstridge), Jimmy the Tulip (Willis) and Jill (Peet). Os and Cynthia are married, along with Jimmy and Jill. Everything is fine, until Cynthia is kidnapped (again) by the Gogolak gang. Kevin Pollack is back, but as Lazlo Gogolack this time. That’s really about it.

I know I said that I laughed my ass off, but I need to let you all in on an important note. THIS MOVIE IS BAD!!! Oh, lordie was it bad. The story is confusing, with pointless plot twists and much of the humor is sophomoric at best. Lazlo’s mom has a farting problem. Ha-Ha! That joke is about as funny, as the “pull my finger” gag my Dad use to do. Didn’t find it funny then, and I still do not now. After watching the movie, I sat down and sent each actor in this movie money from my Sally Struthers fund. They seem to need the money more, than those Cream of Wheat eating Ethiopians. Why else would they star in this?

What made this movie so funny however, was how bad it is. That’s the beauty of it all. Every actor in this movie had fun, and you can tell. It felt like a group of friends getting together and just having a good time. I was waiting on some scenes for the actors to break down laughing, and shake their heads in disbelief over some of the lines. The actors are funny in this movie, not because of the writing, but because of…..well they're just funny people.

At first I actually felt bad for the actors in this movie. Watching Bruce Willis and Mathew Perry in this movie made me cringe. But then I sat back and thought optimistic. They know they’re in an awful movie. Do they care? No; their having a good time. If it’s good for Bruce Willis, then dammit it’s good for me. I’ll have a good time. And folks, with that I began to laugh at a horribly funny movie. Now that I think about it, the farting mom scenes were kinda funny.

2.5 Cans out of 5

Added:  Saturday, April 09, 2005
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